Betrayed By The Booty

As for this cake, should we eat it?

Dec 26, 2022

It is crazy to think we are at the end of 2022. This year has been the shortest and longest I can recall for a while. As with every year I do get excited to think about goals for next year, and the reflections of the last. This week I wanted to talk about some things that have been on my mind pertaining to beauty. This will be my last newsletter of the year.

Happy Holidays and enjoy. :)

Butt What are Your Thoughts?

I find myself constantly in a toss up when it comes to the shape and size of my ass. As a black woman, it is a constant point of contention, question and awe. In media, women’s appearances are often what is highlighted first, not their achievements. Nicki Minaj for example, as a kid I knew of the size of her butt before I knew all that she had done for the music industry in the mid 2000s. “Under sexist social norms, women are valued for their looks, not for their achievements. (Clare Chambers). The booty is sadly doing little to solve the sexist, political, gendered and ableist issues surrounding that of a woman's body. If anything it continues to highlight and raise a question of cultural norms in relation to beauty standards.

Ass for who and ass for what? Is this ass my own and can it ever be?

- A poem by Rose

The BBL :

Let's start at the mecca of ass conversation. The BBL. Now, you have probably seen this everywhere from Tik tok, to twitter, your neighbors, to any area of the internet. But for those who might not know, a BBL stands for a Brazilian Butt Lift which is a cosmetic augmentation where fat is transferred, using liposuction, from one part of the body to the buttocks. When the body’s own fat is used it is aimed at reducing the risk of infection that implants may cause.

Although this procedure was invented in the 60’s BBLs/ Liposuction are at its peak here in the 21st century. According to the Inaugural ASPS(American Society of Plastic Surgeons) report, there was an increased demand of procedures reported by (76 percent) after the pandemic.

Zoom Boom: Seeing themselves on zoom meetings and wanting to make a change(ASPS)

Zoom Boom refers to many cosmetic procedures outside of a BBL such as, Botox, facelifts etc. But it still rings true that to some level we aren't taught to enjoy what we see in the mirror or on our cameras. Even as we get older, it is normalized to not vocalize your age, or to take pride in our ever-growing selves. This exists as a constant reminder that one should age, but not too far to be an example of beauty and wisdom.

Growing up I never really gave my butt attention or even noticed it outside the similarity to my fathers. At that point it didn't feel like it mattered or that it was a part of the broader systemic expectation of a part of my maturing. I remember it made me feel less feminine compared to if it would've been my mothers cheeks I were compared too. It was rare men I were attracted to would like my ass to resemble a grown man named Gilbert. SO, I definitely thought about getting something done that could ease the stress of someone not being interested in me. Since that was my concern for a moment in time.

Cosmetic procedures offer a solution but don't negate the discrimination that still exists to this shame of aging and self acceptance. It is not new information that cosmetic procedures can often be received and interpreted differently based on someone's race, ethnicity, and skin color. Think of instances like Kim Kardashian, where people asked her for new diet changes and workouts she did to achieve her look.

compared to Nicki Minaj. Who consistently faced a pressure not only from her own ideals to fit into her industry but from her record label as well.

"I think they said stuff sometimes jokingly. But to a young girl or up and coming rapper or anything, when it's from someone like Lil' Wayne, it matters. You know?" Minaj said. "Even if they're joking, they don't know that the person that is there in that room with them is not finding it funny." - Nicki Minaj in Joe Budden Interview 2022

Now a very clear distinction is that Nicki Minaj has acknowledged having work done while Kim Kardashian has stood strong in that any change her body goes through has been a natural occurrence . What these women have in common outside of industry is a true showcase of the uneven distribution of resistance in regards to an “unmodified body”.

“The second reason the unmodified body is a political concept is because although it affects the vast majority of us, it doesn't impact on us equally”. Clare Chambers

They exist on two unequal playing fields in regards to attraction and female idealization of the body. Both face an expectation in regard to their appearance even despite somewhat different industries and backgrounds. The industry showcases that you don’t necessarily have to be this European standard of beauty but you must strive for a perfect you. A purchased you. A familiarity within the industry of physique and form.

In a more “normal” /middle class route, I think this specific beauty standard trickles down to working out your glutes for growth. When I started working out this was the first thing on my goal list. Grow an ass and grow it big. The comparison to my father Gilbert was all around me, like the “Evils of Lucy”. I went down a loop hole of exercises, amount of sets, amount of holding until you couldn’t anymore! I would do anything to get that booty I have always wanted. Within my means of course. This sent me to a whole new world of products for growth from, belts and resistance bands to highlight the booty, level up the booty, stack a book on a booty.

In my journey of ass development I am still reminded of the way my booty grows differently. This reminder serves that there are many ways to grow, to develop, to create an individualized idea outside of norms. A reminder of the powerful tool of genetics. The makeup of your DNA solidifies a difference that is innate to you and only you, no matter what.

Dangers of the Booty:

For a lot of women to be held of a high value while existing under a sexist social norm, they must conform. Whether through natural modifications or cosmetic, if feels like the “booty” must be found. Women must bear the brunt of offering, they must bleed for it, some might die for it.

BBL’s hold the highest mortality rate cosmetic procedure, with deaths being 1 in 3,000. In some ways these sayings of “Beauty is pain” now make a valid point. We often have to find ways to cope when it comes to stress and patriarchy. “When things are feeling chaotic and out of our control, we often strive for a way to invite a sense of order and control”.

There can be a lot of shame surrounding private activity in relation to the body. “Resistance is sometimes about sharing”. Through a modern feminist lens and the “I do it for me” label that this generation has been given, sharing is more powerful now than ever. To create a clear and honest path forward. There is enough dishonesty in this billion dollar industry compared to us individually selling lies to one another.

There are many instances, where women have undergone procedures to receive Kim Kardashians posterior figure, Getting a Butt Like Kim K was the worst pain ever, or Spending 500K to look like Kim Kardashian, 17 year old get surgery to resemble Kim K.

*Screenshot from article, Nikita Jasmine(Instagram)*

“It is also not a surprise that women, when so much of our value is connected to our appearance, find value in engaging in that activity. The question is, what is that ‘beauty’ embodying and what are the consequences of not conforming?”

Beauty is now a power of product. A power you must buy rather than what has been granted. From creams that reduce stretchmarks and aging to waist trainers to create an hourglass illusion. The idea of being able to purchase “the real you” has taken the beauty industry to new heights. Unsustainable and deadly feats.

This idea is a consistent back and forth for me. It does feel like a walking contradiction, as I ponder the why, while pursuing the implicit outcome. I do understand more of Beyoncé's lyric in Savage “if you don't jump to put jeans on baby, you don't feel my pain”. My booty has gone from Gilbert to Gilberta and I like her! To see the work I'm putting in, come to fruition, and an output aligning with what I expected is a feeling like no other.

Within myself I feel a limit to the amount of energy I would want to put forth regarding my body and beauty. Being active, consistently, showing up for myself first and sticking to a routine has empowered me whilst offering me an opportunity to see and showcase myself in a new light. A light chosen by no one other than me. It has reminded me of the power of choosing what you do with your own body, without any permission needed.

A Healthy Beauty Expectation:

a body that is acknowledged – by society, by the state, by the self – to be good enough, exactly as it is; a body that is allowed to opt out of modification without incurring social, emotional, economic, or political punishment. “The unmodified body is not a literal thing,” Chambers notes. “Your body might be very much left alone, or it might have had surgery or undergone procedures. The idea is that whatever your body is like, right now, you can let it be.” - Clare Chambers

For a long time, I fantasized about getting plastic surgery. After losing weight and before losing weight I dreamed about paying to achieve this “dream body”, taking and replacing fat like a kid builds with Legos. Most recently I thought about getting my boobs done, to have them perkier, sit higher, to go braless more often. To fit in. Boobs have been a constant battle for me and maybe it's because they are everywhere and all appear to be upright. For a long time I didn't see another option. I could only see the body I didn't have but felt the need to. A longing for something that was not created by me, or that I already have. But something to purchase in hopes of my feelings going away.

The beauty industry does a great job at selling us a dream. Once it's purchased you will be living and walking in it. That's why I do not necessarily deem it to be a positive influence.

“It's bad to be excluded from the beauty industry, but that doesn't mean that the beauty industry itself is a good thing.” - Excerpt from Unmodified Body

There is a lot of work and conversation to be done in regards to the conversation of beauty as well as beautification. “The value that we place on people according to their bodies is reflecting and reinforcing standards of inequality and discrimination”. The way we treat our bodies is a response to our cultural norms and expectations. This doesn't mean it is always hurtful or unhealthy, like moving your body, or taking care of your teeth.

“If we want to preach body positivity and equality then we have to be mindful not only of the bodies we celebrate but also the challenges they face”. - Hood Feminism

If the goal of the beauty industry is to make our routine and day easier, to provide some sense of relief. Why is most of our time struggling with the way we look and exist? It goes to show how powerful a conversation beauty holds, that to some extent it does serve as a solution within our society. Getting a procedure does not guarantee acceptance, just the same as not getting one. Ultimately, it is a journey of seeking, exploring, resisting and striving to accept the body you have. Accepting the booty we have :) And we are all in that together.

Thanks for all your reading this year and next!

Love your Little Mama xoxoxo